I don't like bugs. I don't like snakes. I definitely do NOT like tree worms thanks to the life-altering experience of having them thrown at me in handfuls by my "best friend" and his brother!! But, I digress. Texas has bugs. Lots of them. Texas also has geckos and lizards. Lots of them, and they LOVE the outside of our house. Outside good. Inside, bad. Picture a peaceful Sunday afternoon where I am lounging in the chair, getting a rare opportunity to watch something on TV other than Ninja Warriors or Man vs Food. Ahhh...life is good. Then, like a shot ringing out in the night I hear the terrifying words yelled across the house"Trey has a lizard!" A WHAT!!!!!? The boys rushed to the scene and Andrew says "its dead." (why did he sound disappointed?) I was calm...but still glued to the chair.....and I asked if he would please take it outside. Number 1, why would I think boys would simply take the dead lizard outside before playing with it? And 2, WHY did I let that crack sound in my voice? The sound of weakness, signaling to all male creatures that they now have something to hold over you FOREVER. Andrew has the gruesome corpse in his hand and right before he turns to go outside, he pretends to fling it at me!!! A second later the phone rings and my mom calls to make sure things are ok since she could hear me scream all the way in NY!!!! Ok, well it was loud. Maybe not that loud but loud enough that my children have been making fun of me for the past 24 hours. I need therapy.
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